Tuesday, May 17, 2011

When Words Change Destinies (book 3 chapter 9)

During Vladimir's journey to meet Anastasia for the second time he meets Alexander who tells him the story of Anastasia's meeting with Aniuta.

"...out from the group of elderly villagers emerged a frail little girl, about six years old, with pale yellowish skin. She was wearing an old jacket, pieced together from fragments of some adult garment, her thin legs were covered by patched pantyhose, and she had little old boots on her feet.

"Later I found out the girl's name was Aniuta. She was a sickly child, with a congenital heart disease. Her mother had brought her from the city when she was just six months old and left her with the oldsters, not coming back even once to see her daughter. They say she works somewhere as a painter for a construction firm.

"Aniuta went up to Anastasia and started tugging on the hem of her skirt, pleading with her:

"'Bend down, Auntie Anastasia. Bend down to me.'

"Anastasia looked at the little girl and squatted down in front of her. The girl quickly took off the old white kerchief she was wearing on her head. She salivated on one edge of it and began to carefully wipe the blood which had already dried on Anastasia's face and temple, saying:

"'You don't come any more, Auntie Anastasia, to sit on your little log by the shore. Grandpa said that earlier you used to come more often. You would sit on the log and watch the river. Now you don't come. Grandpa showed me the little log where you used to sit, Auntie Anastasia. Grandpa showed me, and I started coming to it, to your log, myself. I sat there all alone, waiting for you to come, Auntie Anastasia. I really wanted to see you. I have a secret to tell you. But you wouldn't come to sit on your log and watch the river. Maybe 'cause the log is quite old. I kept asking Grandpa and he brought a new little log for you. There it is, lying right beside the old one.'

"The little girl took Anastasia by the hand and started pulling her over to the log.

"'Let's go, let's go, Auntie Anastasia, let's go sit on the new log. Grandpa hewed out two seats on it with his axe. I was the one who asked him to do that, so that when you came we could sit together.'

"Anastasia at once responded to the little girl's request, and they sat down together on the log. They just sat there silently for a while, not paying any attention to anyone. It was as though there had been no one else around. And everyone stood silently, without budging. Then the little girl started talking:

"'Grandma told me a lot about you, Auntie Anastasia. And when my Grandma died, I began asking Grandpa, and he told me about you, too. Whenever Grandpa talks about you, I think about my little secret I have to tell you. Grandpa told me that when I was little, my heart wasn't working right. It wasn't ticking evenly. One time its tick was way off. Then they brought in Auntie Doctor in a boat. Auntie Doctor said there was nothing they could do with such a bad heart - there was no one it would obey. And that it would die before long.

"'Grandpa told me how you, Auntie Anastasia, were sitting at the time on your old little log and watching the river. Then you got up and came into our hut. You took me in your arms and put me on the grass outside the house. Then you lay down beside me and put your hand on my chest. You put your hand here, where you could hear my heart ticking. Right here.' And the girl clasped her hand to the left side of her thin little chest.

"'Grandpa said that you too, Auntie Anastasia, started lying next to me as if you were breathless, since your own heart had started ticking ever so softly, just like mine. Then your heart started beating faster, and called out to mine to catch up. My heart obeyed yours, and together they started ticking the way they ought to. That is what Grandpa told me. Did he tell me everything right? Right, Auntie Anastasia?'

"'Yes, Aniuta. Your grandpa told you right. Your heart will always be good now.'

"'That means your heart called to mine and mine obeyed? It obeyed, did it?'

"'Yes, Aniuta dear, your heart obeyed.'

"'Now I shall tell you my secret, Auntie Anastasia. It is a very, very important secret!'

"'Tell me your important secret, Aniuta.'

"Aniuta got up from the log and stood in front of Anastasia, clasping her thin little hands to her chest. Then all of a sudden she... Suddenly little Aniuta fell on her knees before Anastasia. She barely managed to restrain the excitement in her voice when she said:

"'Auntie Anastasia, dear Auntie Anastasia, ask your heart again! Ask it! Ask your heart to call to my Mama's heart. Have my Mama come see me. Even just for a day. To see me. That's my secret. Have your heart... Mama's... heart... hear...'

"Aniuta choked from emotion, then fell silent, her eyes fixed on Anastasia.

"Anastasia squinted her eyes and looked off into the distance, past the little girl kneeling in front of her. Then she looked at the girl once more and quietly stated a fact that must have been horrifying for the child. She answered her as she would have an adult:

"'Aniuta, dear, my heart is unable to call to your Mama. Your Mama is far away in the city. She tried to find happiness but did not find it. She does not have a home of her own, she does not have any money to buy you gifts. And unless she can bring you gifts she does not want to come and see you. It is hard for her in the city. But if she should come and see you, it will be even harder for her. A visit with you would become a sad and tormenting experience. It would be more difficult and frightening for her to see you so sickly and so poorly clothed. She would see how the houses in your village are falling apart, and how dirty and shabby the house you live in is. It would be all the more difficult since your Mama no longer believes she can do anything good for you. She simply does not believe it. She feels she has tried everything and this is what fate has determined for her. She has given in to the very hopelessness she has imagined for herself.'

"Little Aniuta listened to the terrible truth, and her wee body trembled. It seemed to me awfully cruel to talk to a child that way. I thought a white lie would have been more appropriate here. Like stroking the poor little girl's head and promising her mother would arrive soon. And saying they would have a happy meeting.

"But that is not what Anastasia did. She told this helpless, defenceless little girl the whole bitter truth. Then after spending some time watching her body shake all over, she began talking to her again.

"'I know, Aniuta dear, you do love your Mama.'

"'I love... love... I love my poor dear Mamochka,' the girl replied, her child's voice on the point of breaking into tears.

"'Then you make your Mamochka happy. You are the only one, the only one in all the world who can make her happy. It is very simple. You become healthy and strong, and learn how to sing. You will be a singer. Your marvellous, pure voice will sing together with your heart. Your Mama may meet you in twenty years, and seeing you will make her very happy. Or your Mama may come to see you next summer. By that time you should already be healthy and strong. To welcome her. Get some presents ready for your Mamochka. Show her how strong and beautiful you are, and you will make your Mamochka very happy, and your meeting with her will be a joyful one indeed.'

Aniuta's story continues in the next chapter (and my next post).

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Tadan Kriya (kriya 9)

This is the ninth of the twenty Kundalini Kriyas of Kriya Yoga. If you have not completed my free online course, please download and complete that first.

This kriya requires a change in sitting position to Padmasana. Eyes are open and when ready, droop the head slightly back and practice Shambhavi Mudra. Inhale through the mouth with Ujjayi Pranayama while moving your concentration down the center of the body from the mouth to Mooladhara Chakra. When your concentration reaches Mooladhara, imagine the breath is collecting there.

Hold the breath and practice Moola Bandha. Using your hands, lift the body off the ground and drop it on Mooladhara. Repeat this beating 3 times. Release Moola Bandha.

Exhale through the nose with Ujjayi Pranayama while imagining the stored breath at Mooladhara diffusing in all directions.

Bring your focus back to your mouth to begin the next round. Complete seven rounds, then go to the next kriya.

A video describing and demonstrating this kriya is presented below.